no steam shovel

I’ve got this problem/gift that haunts me to this very day.

Historically, when it came to intimate relationships with a certain gender, that isn’t mine, I’ve been able to see the future.

I know, I know, “impossible, no one can see the future!” You say. But I insist. Give me one, maybe two months, at the longest half a year, and I can tell you the very quality of the relationship that will have it ripping at the seams, given time. And thus far, I’ve never been wrong. Take Jen and I. I’ve got nothing… And you know what? Still strong after a year and a half.

But I’m not talking about certain significant others here. I’m talking about the Miss America Pageant.

A few days ago I blogged about a certain Reality TV show Miss America lowered themselves into recently, Miss America: Reality Check. Now, my gut instinct is to toss you a link to the show’s website, and I’m going to (you can find it here), but that’s not without a cacophony of protest from my better judgment.

By now you already know I am not a fan of the idea.

Take a piece of America’s history, an icon, if you will, and exploit it. Great idea. One of the toughest stereotypes for the Miss America Organization to overcome has been the idea that we are nothing more than a “Beauty Pageant,” it’s a struggle as old as time, and now TLC wants turn MAO into a reality TV show. So now, not only is it still a Beauty Pageant to most, but now it’s cliche.

But its not just that. Over the years the Miss America Pageant has remained primarily unchanged, largely unmolested by time. Timeless.

So what do we do? We take something that is Timeless and we make it better, we make it Modern. Brilliant.

One of the wonderful things about tradition, about “timelessness,” is if something is timeless, it can’t truly die. Something that is timeless exists in it’s own little world, it’s own bubble of protection. It’s the reason why nothing will beat the original Dracula. It can be remade and remade to high heavens, but we will always look back to the original for the inspiration, while remakes come and go with the wind.

Remakes, remasters, remixes can be forgotten. Sure, they can be popular for a time, but because they are “modern,” tailored to a generation, they are a fad, and fads fade when modern moves on.

Yet it gets worse. If Reality Check were one of a kind, without competition, it would at least thrive for a short time, a season or two in the lime-light. But we aren’t so lucky. Sure, we have the “original” thing going for us, but now we have to compete again (as if competing against Miss USA wasn’t bad enough), now we have Crowned pushing in on us.

So now we not only have to fight the stereotype of the Beauty Pageant, but heads with Miss USA, and conform to the Modern appeal, but now we have to bend over backwards to struggle for network TV ratings against a free form “pageant” that, unlike us, doesn’t have traditions or morals to consider in it’s programming.

Mark my words, this is the beginning of the end of the Miss America of old. This is the end.